Question? Anyone Know What Day it is?

Answer…does it matter?

Lockdown Day … a Wednesday in May

Lost track around about April 37th. The only way I’m keeping any grip on any kind of real time is because we have to put out the bins on Tuesdays. Imagine that? Taking out refuse is the only thing of note that is going on in my world. For the first time ever in 22 years my Manchild’s itinerary is 99% fuller than mine. Strange times indeed. Basically it’s all a bit dull.

Thought I’d investigate what people have been doing in order to relieve the tedium.

Beloved neighbour has rigged up large elastic band device to her children’s pool enabling her to swim one squillion lengths without moving forward. Genius! I’m not though, sure if that would assist my feelings of going nowhere.

Rock has taken up, after he discovered we owned one, dog walking. Alone. For hours. Not wishing to sound childish but that was my job and my only legitimate reason to go out.

The sale of adult toys has risen, if you pardon the expression, by around 40%. Perhaps the predicted baby boom will be an anticlimax, again, if you pardon the expression. * 2 giant pandas in China who have not mated in 10 years have now, after the doors of the zoo had been locked and bolted, done the devilish deed – clearly all they required was a little privacy.

Segway into… the World Wide Web has seen a spike in photos that people have taken of some very responsible citizens proving that everyone, no matter how primitive the brain, understands the social distancing rules. Oh well nearly all.

Not the time for fancy dress you maybe thinking but no! Incorrect. Jarrow in the North East have their own multiple personality postie; delivering letters in an array of different outfits from Pocahontas to Where’s Wally, bringing delight to the doorsteps. There is the roaming T Rex in Perthshire who, like a Behemoth Banksy, has been anonymously entertaining the local residents out on the streets. Who hides behind the mask nobody knows… but he must be bloody boiling. There’s also a dude dressed up as a bush in Stevenage; not sure why though. No point dressing up in your finest Bramble for no reason.

TikTok. Up until recently TikTok was just for the foolish, the simpletons, the infantile. Now, however, these ridiculous videos are positively de rigueur. Seemingly everyone from my Nan to Arianna Grande has had a go at this making it the most downloaded social media app (second only to Zoom). I challenge you not to raise a smile… go on… just a little one.

…and, everyday, remind yourself that this too shall end 🙏🏼

Global Covid 19 cases 4.9 million worldwide. That’s a lot of coughing

Global deaths 322, 460. worldwide. Sadly that is a lot of coffins.

By Kim Hawley

I’m a mum ... 48 years on our glorious planet and I have got some stuff to get of my chest!

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