Lockdown day 4
Rock’s mission to extricate our Manchild was highly successful. No roadblocks had been set up, no papers were necessary and the nun disguise was, in these lean times, a waste of precious resources. Manchild came bearing ridiculously thoughtful gift in the shape of a 4 pack of solid gold; Aloe Vera scented toilet rolls. Have explained the new toilet roll rationing program. Manchild states that as a university student of computing he has been self isolating and living off rations for 2.5 years – this is except when he and his fellow nerds are in pub …which are all now shut… thus lockdown for Manchild is a walk in the park…as long as you are not:
- in a group of no more than 2
- closer than 2m from other park walkers
- suffering from a new persistent cough and fever
- are not exceeding ones “once a day” outdoor allowance
…….Covid 19 News……Covid 19 News…..Covid 19 News…… Due to people losing their jobs, local benefits office has “experienced higher than average call numbers” one determined chap who was 80,000th in queue, fell asleep whilst waiting, thus missed it when the operator finally got round to dealing with his enquiry.
Went on mission of mercy for lovely neighbour. Packed snacks, charged phone and sharpened elbows ready for the new supermarket experience (updated March 25th 2020) … but alas, sharp elbows were surplus to requirements. Supermarket has implemented new, sensible 300 person maximum plus a handy 1 in/1 out rule so shopping was positively relaxing. Decided I like shopping during a pandemic…providing it is organised properly.
Rock has stated he feels unwell. Have dispatched the chronic asthmatic to bed stating firmly that he is forbidden to have virus. He has not yet finished laying new floor in hallway.